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Consciously or not, people consider their online sexual relationships as real—they experience psychological states similar to those typically elicited by offline relationships.Accordingly, cybersex is about sex, but a form of sexual encounter which involves experiences typical of other such encounters, including sexual arousal, masturbation, orgasm, and satisfaction.In his stimulating paper, "Chatting Is Not Cheating," John Portmann defends online lust and characterizes about sex; he maintains that such talking is more similar to flirting than to having a sexual affair.

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Generally, online affairs are easier to perform and put the agent in a less vulnerable position, as the chances of getting caught or being hurt in other ways are considerably reduced.

They are also perceived to involve a lesser degree of betrayal, as they involve more imaginary elements and the degree of neglecting the partner's interests may be lesser.

Other people are willing to concede that cybersex without the knowledge of their partner cheating, because it involves deception; nevertheless, some still maintain it's a type of "OK" cheating.

In some circumstances, cybersex may, in fact, help a person through a rough period in an offline, loving relationship.

Time spent in that world can help them their actual world, while not giving up on having exciting, even emotional experiences.

Living with the two worlds is not easy, however, and may become increasingly risky when people do not realize the limitations of each.Indeed, people consider cybersex to have a high degree of psychological reality—but many do not consider it to be consider it to be infidelity.Many of them believe cybersex to be similar to pornography—an extension of fantasy that actually helps to keep them from physical affairs with other people. But I'm sure she'd get upset if we were to meet for a drink or something." to cheat—something that may even add spice to their offline relationship.The private nature of online affairs may make them less painful for the betrayed partner as well.Moreover, when online affairs are revealed to the significant other, which is done more often than when offline circumstances are involved, it could be considered as something less than cheating.In such situations, cybersex may even be advisable—but still be regarded as cheating.

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