Before Tinder normalized “DTF” (“Down To Fuck”) as an opening salute, Valdez would send copy-and-pasted pick-up lines to dozens of women a day and track their effectiveness on spreadsheets.“Online dating is a numbers game,” he would write in the Vi DA training manual years later.“When writing sales copy…the goal is to reduce her ‘cognitive load’ so she’s more likely to reach the end and still have energy to write out a reply.”What does a “low cognitive load” pick-up line look like?
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His idea for a digital-dating-assistant service started in 2009, when he was frustrated with the amount of time it took to search for matches online.
“I was working 60 to 70 hours a week and simply didn’t have time to keep up with online dating,” he said.
One male Closer told me that it felt rewarding to “help men too old to understand the internet,” and that “some people are too busy for all that.” Another writer told me that “finding love is a mysterious process, so we use data.”The service’s data-driven approach to professional flirting became clear to me during my training.
“We’ve discovered that a surprisingly large portion of the online dating process can be systematized into what is essentially clerical work,” read one line in my training manual.
These people are often in their early 20s; young women with less dating savvy are easy targets for the company’s methods.
“Rule 1: Don’t make her think too hard,” the manual says.
“Let her know what you want in a woman and make her explain why she fits those criteria.”“I’m not a psychologist or self-proclaimed expert in the multiple facets of human psychology,” Valdez told Quartz in a phone call.
“I consider myself to be a marketer, a matchmaker, and a dating expert.” He lists the books he’s read that inform his methods: Malcolm Gladwell’s “Online dating takes effort, and effort equals time,” he continued.
The manuals have titles like , and are loaded with his personal insights into the primal female brain.
We are to treat them as dating-assistant gospel.“There’s no question about it,” reads one chapter, “women want to date the alpha male.
My most frequent mistake was asking career-oriented questions, which were deemed too difficult for some women to answer.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating