updating my zune - Mixed racial dating

Below are four truths we need to understand about IRRs.

Deciding to enter an IRR doesn’t change prejudice in your heart.

We tend to either reduce IRR stories, whether they are our own or others’, to a party trick (something to show off and exploit rather than understand and love), or we elevate them to a pedestal where we can worship and idolize them.

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They’re cute, funny, and sincere with similar interests and values. But for all the praise and comments my husband Vaughan and I have received throughout our relationship (he’s Black, and I’m a Korean American adoptee) about our future adorable biracial babies and how cool and progressive our relationship is, you would think we had achieved ultra-super-special dating status. Race is certainly a hot topic today, and it seems especially paramount to Millennials to prove how racist we are. I fully believe we are called to initiate, grow, and maintain healthy cross-cultural relationships, and that being part of the kingdom of God means experiencing more than just your little corner of it.

And what better way to do that than to actually date someone who is a different race? If heaven is going to be a great multitude of people from every nation, tribe, people, and language worshiping together (Revelation 7:9), and if we are to be praying for God’s will to be done on earth as it is in heaven (Matthew ), then there should be some element of being with people different than us here in this lifetime.

Ultimately, mixed-race women are concerned with who they choose to date because they view their choices as reflections of how they racially identify themselves.

By focusing on how mixed-race women describe and interpret their on- and off-line experiences, this dissertation shows how the logics of colorblindness and anti-blackness extend into everyday life, demonstrating contemporary meanings of race and the post-racial in the United States.

There is a lot to be learned and gained from having deep cross-cultural relationships.

But from my experience and from stories of my peers, there is as much desire for racial justice and reconciliation as there is unhelpful idolizing and fetishizing of interracial relationships and biracial friends.

You will definitely bump up against and wrestle with your own stereotypes and racist mentalities throughout your relationship, but it takes more than a change in your relationship status to change your misperceptions and biases.

And if you are intentionally seeking out an IRR, you could be contributing to racism by using your significant other as an object to exploit for your own purposes.

This qualitative multi-method dissertation intervenes by assessing self-identified mixed-race women’s understandings of race, gender, and class while in the process of dating, providing insight into the experiences that are hidden within analyses of large-scale online dating trends.

Through digital ethnography, content analysis of 225 profiles from the online dating website, Ok Cupid, and 30 in-depth interviews with mixed-race women residing in Texas, this dissertation goes beyond notions of dating and marriage that emphasize a market-based exchange.

Besides the fact that at that point, we were not even close to considering a future together, was I supposed to feel special that I was dating someone who was a different race than me?

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