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I also add four Red Flag Words: “banter”, “hygiene”, “spiritual” and “Canadian”.Searching for a potential mate online can be intimidating no matter where you are.
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(Related: a lunch date with the most exciting woman in food - Gizzi Erskine) I spend Sunday evening with F, a petite Spanish peasant from Lovestruck.
She’s furious about the amount of tax she pays in the UK; I pick up the bill for her three large Merlots and head home alone.
Hunting for women is already preventing me from doing more enjoyable things; I have Chapman Pincher on my Kindle. It removes any thrill – a concern considering I have eight dates scheduled for the next two days.
My approach needs an upgrade: I’m going to add a little controversy going forward. I leave feeling confident, but have to wait for feedback next week to find out if my self-belief is justified.
Now I’m ready to give it another shot, because I’ve hit upon a theory – one that will exorcise my dating demons and turn me into a great seducer of women. If we’d met on a Friday, who knows what would have happened. I think she enjoyed our chat but it was hard to tell. I produce a biography of Tito from my bag but the coincidence fails to stimulate conversation. Apparently women like someone noticing little details in their outfit. Conversation – or the lack of it – has been playing on my mind.
It’s called meta-learning and, while it sounds like -style pick-up artistry, it’s far less arch. Here's 5 grooming tips to grab her attention) Later, I line up dates on the various websites I’ve signed up for. While marvelling at Ok Cupid (seemingly designed for egomaniacs and oversharers) I decide a bland profile is best. Quinn’s advice is to ignore the dating cliché that asking lots of questions will win women over: “Volunteer information about yourself – it encourages people to open up.” I talk about my upbringing and, blow me, it works. I call Sean Brickell, a public speaking coach, and relay the day’s chat to him in the hope of reassurance. “Silences at the start of conversations are image killers,” he tells me.
It’s better to save some material to talk about on your first date.
Remember to show you’re curious about her, too, by asking questions to keep conversation flowing.
If it works, I’ll be cruising through meet-ups on a kind of irresistible autopilot. My four o’clock, J from Lovestruck, is an attractive career woman in her forties. Arranging dates in a small geographical area is vital if you’re stacking, but timing is a minefield. I dribble out the same chat and by the fourth date, I just want to go home.
But there’s a lot of catching up to do, as I discover when I sign up for a dozen sites, apps and singles nights. A couple of hours beforehand I have a pep talk with dating expert Hayley Quinn, who warns me that coffee dates often seem like job interviews. Not a single one of my marathon dates contacts me for a second meet-up. I head to a Mayfair nightclub for speed dating (originaldating.com), counting each four-minute contact as 0.25 of a date.
Are we now so dependent on apps and online dating, and just how do you navigate the app-happy dating pool of today? I used to, and I think at times I might even have enjoyed it. S from Tinder is smiley and chatty with faultless social skills. Wine with M from Lovestruck – the first date I’ve really enjoyed, and the first woman I found attractive just by looking at her photo.Tags: Adult Dating, affair dating, sex dating