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We all know it: When the person you hooked up with the night before walks toward you in the dining hall, you try not to look excited... When it comes to dating, it always feels like the person who cares less ends up winning.
I'm lured in by these trend pieces and their sexy headlines and consistently let down by their conclusions about my generation's moral depravity, narcissism, and distaste for true love. Instead, I armed myself with a blasé smile and answered, "Just text me to let me know what's up. " Sure, I wanted a plan for when we were supposed to hang out but felt I needed to meet Nate on his level of vagueness. to ask "What's up" (no question mark — that would seem too desperate). When I saw him in class, he glanced away whenever we made eye contact. Instead, he said that he thought I was "really attractive and bright" but he just hadn't been interested in dating me. So to avoid seeming or any of the related stereotypes commonly pegged on women, I followed Nate's immature lead: I walked away to get a beer and dance with my friends. This anecdote sums up a pattern I have experienced, observed, and heard about from almost all my college-age friends.
Overdressed for the nonoccasion, I quelled my frustration with Trader Joe's maple clusters and reruns of The next morning, I texted Nate again — this time to acknowledge our failed plan: "Bummer about last night. The avoidance — and occasional tight-lipped smiles — continued through the fall semester. He was drunk and apologized for hurting my feelings that night in the fall. The culture of campus dating is broken..at least broken-ish. College kids do it, have always done it, and will always do it, whether they're in relationships or not.
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Most of my peers would say "You go, girl" to a young woman who is career-focused, athletically competitive, or interested in casual sex. " when a guy "feels liberated enough to learn to knit, decide to be a stay-at-home dad, or learn ballet," Wade says.
Men and women are both partaking in Guyland's culture of silence on college campuses, which results in what Wade calls the whoever-cares-less-wins dynamic.
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